Our Own Wedding
Rhonda Gail | June 1, 2008I posted recently that Dustin and I finally got engaged. Now comes the fun part…. the planning!
I have put off posting about this, because since we first started talking marriage over a year ago, we (okay, I, considering Dustin has expressed several times that he can go either way happily) have gone back and forth about whether we should elope or have a wedding with guests. As with any major decision, there were multiple pros and cons for both choices.
As for eloping, it keeps costs way down, meaning we can afford the most important element to me, a good photographer. It also means that I don’t get caught up in inviting Aunt Ingrid and her family out of politeness, my college roommate because I was invited to hers, and my friend who lives down the street. Ok, so none of these situations are anything I’m dealing with, nor do I know anybody named Ingrid. However, there are similar issues with the guest list if we chose to invite guests. Eloping also means that the focus stays where it should- on the fact that we have chosen to live our lives together as husband and wife, instead of on linens, favors, registries, and buffet vs. plated dinner. Honestly, I think one of the biggest things for us is that eloping means we can get married very soon. There are other positive points for eloping, but those are the big ones for me.
Eloping is certainly not without cons. I would hate to wake up in 3 years wanting to have a vow renewal (which are completely ludicrous, i’ll post about that another time) because I really wish I had gotten to have the whole wedding experience. Also, I am completely enamored with weddings and all the love that surrounds you on your day. As I mentioned in a previous post, I long for the emotion of the wedding day. I want to share that day with those who have either shaped me to be the person Dustin chose to marry, or have played a part in our relationship. I think it’s becoming obvious as I type this that I have made the right choice for us… we’re having a wedding.
Now, as a compromise between a wedding and elopement, we’re having a VERY small, intimate wedding. This ensures that we’ve invited only those we can’t imagine the day without, and that costs stay down. I still don’t think we’ll be able to afford our dream photographer, but we’ll see. I’m just thrilled to have something to go on! Right now we’re thinking next spring for a date. First things first though… I have to move 500 miles so I can finally live with the love of my life!
Related posts:
Congratulations!!! Now is the fun part…planning! I wish you much love, laughter and happiness!
Yay!!
i absolutely love small and intimate weddings. they can be SO personal!
Yay!!
My fiancee and I kind of struggled with this decision too. My parents offered us a check for the amount they’d contribute to a wedding if we wanted to just elope. Pretty tempting. Really really tempting.
But, once I started thinking about it, like you there are so many people I’d like to share the day with. People, like Chris’ 87 year old grandmother, who wouldn’t really be able to make it if we invited them to come to our elopement (like an inexpensive destination wedding, if you will) if we went somewhere like Vegas.
Ultimately, I am happy that I’m planning a “wedding”. And yes, it’s very easy to get caught up in linens and favors and flowers (oh my!) – but you just have to keep remembering what is REALLY important and just focus on that. You know, a good friend of mine who just got married last month told me “Unless the food is bad, there is a really embarrasing scene, or the wedding is just way over the top, most people aren’t going to remember that much about it anyways.” And he’s partly right. The only reason I remember some of the small details from his wedding is because I was LOOKING (tryin to “steal” any good ideas). People will remember the fun they had, not your centerpieces or bouquets.
Congrats!!!